Trust in the Lord

Have you ever had one of those days that just seem to catch you off guard?

You think you are over something, but when brought face to face with it memories, hurt, and anger come flooding back to the surface?

Well today was one of those days. I got an email, that caught me totally off guard, from someone I hadn't expected to hear from for a long, long, long time.

My brother.

He emailed my whole family asking for forgiveness. I thought I had forgiven him a long time ago. But reading the email, it was like reading a letter he gave me years ago. Apologizing for everything he had done, and praying for forgiveness. And now I feel stuck. I want to forgive him, I want to be able to run to him with open arms, cry, and hug him! But at the same time, I can't forget the questions my brother has asked me regarding "where is Christopher? doesn't he like us?" or the tears my sister spilt when he didn't show up all those years ago to hang out. Or the frustration my parents have dealt with because of even further issues surrounding him.

I know I'm not perfect, I'm the first to admit such, I know I make mistakes, but someone hurts my family, and that doesn't go over well with me. You attack them, you are attacking me, and I don't take that lying down, I bite back!

But what if the person hurting my family is my family?

Right now, I admit, I'm struggling. I'm frustrated with this whole situation. But I also know that, whatever happens I need to leave it all at the cross. When I gave my life to God it was my everything, and not just when things are good. I said "I'm in it for the good AND the bad times". I gave God my all, and I know that unless I'm on my knees in prayer this will continue to be a struggle. So I'm giving this whole situation to God! I'm choosing to let go, and let Him continue to take control. As crazy as it seems sometimes, I know I'm safe in His hands.

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD himself, is my strength and my defense ; he has become my salvation.”

Isaiah 12:2

A little bit of everything rolled into one.

WOW! This week has been crazy, In a good way of course, and it's only Wednesday. Allow me to start from the beginning.

Sunday: I was scheduled to lead worship, but I had lost my voice, mostly, that weekend. As I was practicing, I was singing flat, and squeaking like crazy. I had no back up singer so It was me and my drummer. 9:30 comes around and the leadership team gets together to pray, still no voice. 9:50 comes and I get on stage, my dad gives a quick welcome, and 10 o'clock I begin playing, and as I'm about to squeak the first word to the first song my voice comes back.

HALLELUJAH! As soon as Church ends, so did my voice. God? I think yes. Later that evening I then dyed my hair a darker brown. I'm ALMOST back to my natural color.

HAIR BEFORE

HAIR AFTER

Monday: There was no school due to the day being dedicated to Martin Luther King Jr. Thus a friend of mine spent the night. Then that evening Kyle and I got to hang out, I dropped off a job application at Super America, then We went sledding, out to Starbucks for some coffee(or hot chocolate in Kyle's case), and ended up at a pet store for a bit(DUMB IDEA it made me want a hamster)

Tuesday: I went back you the pet store and picked up my own HAMSTER!!! =D Henry Phillip Morrison the 1st =P We then had to go to the food shelf, and of course all the kids adored the hamster. =P

Meet Henry Phillip Morrison

Wednesday: better known as today, After school I got home, and pulled out Henry Phillip, as I was playing with him, I got a call from Super America saying they wanted to schedule a face-to-face interview, Which is now scheduled for Monday. I turned my back for 3 seconds to write the phone number down, and hang up my phone. When I look back Henry is no where in sight. I stand up for fear he's under me. I'm looking, and freaking out for about 30 seconds when out of nowhere I feel something weird against my knee. He had crawled up my pant leg, inside....... Needless to say it took about 5 minutes to get him out the little critter haha.

That's been my week thus far. Pretty much a bit of everything mixed into a few days. Hopefully the rest of this week is just as awesome. =)

18th Birthday

So how am I supposed to feel?

People keep coming up to me asking me "How do you feel?" I feel no different. Should something have changed? Yes I am an adult, but what does that mean? I can gamble, buy cigarettes , get a tattoo, make my own decisions(according to the law). But why would I want to do that? I don't get it.

I'm in High School, and am looking at living a long, debt free life, with out regrets. I think many students get it all wrong. Now is the time we need to look to our parents for wisdom, not run away, and do our own thing. What we do now will either make or break our future, and so as I begin taking this step into adulthood, I intend to lean into God, and seek the counsel of my parents. So pray for me as I begin taking this step. =)