A Moment of Pride

Today is my only sisters birthday. As I sit here reflecting on her life, wondering what to send her, what to tell her, and how to inspire her as she celebrates 19 years of life. The only words that come to mind are: 

I'm so proud of her.

I'm proud of the person she has become.

In 19 years, she and I have gone on many adventures. 

We have  fought, cried, laughed, apologized and repeated.

She is a person I can depend on with out fail. 

She has stood by me, as only a sister can, holding my hand through all life has to offer. 

We have jumped many hurdles together, faced many challenges(including each other at times)

She is a product of much prayer, and I can not believe she is all grown up.

Although, I can't put into words how absolutely amazing she is:

I couldn't ask for a more amazing sister,

and I couldn't be any more proud of her if I tried. 

Although 19 years doesn't seem like a monumental occasion, after all it's not 16, it's not 18,and  its not 21, It marks 19 years of life for an amazing young woman. That in itself is monumental, and worth celebrating!

Kierra, I love you. Happy 19th Birthday. You have grown to be such an amazingly, beautiful woman, inside and out! I am so proud of the person you have become. I pray that as this next year comes you will be greatly blessed, and that you will be given wisdom and insight into what your next steps will be. This is a year that will bring many exciting changes, and growth, and I can't wait to see how that unfolds.

I am so proud of you!!

Your older, shorter sister,

Kelly

Bliss

I'm enjoying every moment of this:

Cuddling on the couch for hours

Dancing in the dining room

Rocking him slowly to sleep

Hearing his soft coos

Watching the smile on his face as he dreams

Dressing him in cute outfits 

Kissing his chubby cheeks

Looking into his grey eyes

Watching him splash around contently in the tub

Listening to him breath as he sleeps

I love every bit of this 

Baby Time

At 6:39pm on March 2nd, 2014 after being in the hospital for 15 hours, Caden Paul graced us with his presence.I admit, being so young, and having a baby was a nerve wracking thought. But by the end of my pregnancy, I was so ready to be done with that part of my life. I'm surprised how easy, and natural it has become to feed, change, hold, and cart around our precious little man.

Yes is has been taking me twice as long to get anywhere since he has been born. Yes, I have been running late to almost every appointment, and meeting. And Yes my schedule is being dictated by a person 1/4 my size with no reasoning ability. But it is such a wonderful change. Each day, I wake  up and look forward to what the day will bring. I look forward to the snuggling, smiles, and even the vast facial expressions I receive. I can't wait for the many adventures he will bring to our family in the next 18+ years.

Three Weeks

Am I ready?

I feel everything but ready for motherhood.

Actually, I don't quite know how to word the varied emotions I feel each day.
And I think that's ok.
I don't need to have everything figured out just yet.
No one really does anyways.

But after 9 months of weight gain, an aching back, pulled muscles I didn't even know I had, and uncomfortable sleep; I'm ready for this phase to end.

I'm breathing deeply, keeping my fingers crossed, and trusting that God knows what He is doing in all this.

A Winter Adventure

With the cold weather here in Minnesota this week, my car has decided it will not be bothered to move. Its cold, and the car thinks it knows what's best for me.

So Monday, I call my employer to let them know, my car will not start, I have no way of getting to work, I am trying my best to get the vehicle going. I was graciously told, not to worry about it, "Stay home, I'll see you Wednesday". I felt awful, to say the least. I work with a private family, so if they told me to stay home, I knew they meant it, but I still felt like I was letting them down. And because my hormones have been so out of whack, I cried for a while. It was not my morning.

Even though I was told to stay home, that day, I had things to get done through out the week, so I needed my car. But, after much time trying to get the engine to turn over, calling my husband, who is in North Dakota this week for work, calling my father, who has no skills in mechanics, and having my neighbor and friend spend at least 45 minutes in the cold looking at it, bless His heart, I gave up. I might have cried again(stupid hormones).

Once I was finished crying, again. I sat down, and began thinking of ways to get from point A to point B in the next week. My week was busy, between work, volunteering, board meetings, and doctor appointments, I was scrambling to figure anything out. I finally settled on the Bus! I was going to figure out the bus system and use it, for the first time in my life. At 21 years old, even with growing up in the Minneapolis area, I have never had to use the bus system. It was a very nerve wrecking idea, to say the least. I might as well have said I'm traveling to Antarctica for fun.

I'm not gonna lie, it took me a good few hours to figure out all the bus connections I needed, how to map out my way to work, figure out the fastest route for me to take, Time it so I didn't get there too late or too early, yet give myself time in case something happens, and then write everything down. By the time I was done, I knew the routes to work, church, and my doctors office, and home again from each. 6 pages of detailed information filled my notebook. Despite that I couldn't have felt more unprepared.

Tuesday, I got a ride to and from the place I volunteer, which was nice. So everything went great.

This morning, Wednesday, I woke up at 6am. 3 hours earlier than I normally have to. I was a little cranky as I fed my pets, got dressed, grabbed breakfast, and put all of my stuff in a backpack. I stepped outside at 7am, with $10 in quarters(I had no idea how much the bus system cost, to say the least), and my notebook. I tried to start my car, just in case, but it still wouldn't move. So I walked the three blocks to the first bus stop. I almost missed the first bus, I was saved by a red light!!

I nervously got on, and began inserting my quarters, $2.25, and took a seat. I don't doubt I looked like a lost dog on the bus. I kept looking at my notebook, and then at the stops we were at, I was so worried I'd miss my stop, and be unable to figure out how to get back. Thankfully I made it through my first bus ride just fine. I got dropped off at the light rail platform, and decided to purchase a day pass so I could reserve my quarters. The light rail was running 3 minutes late, which made me fret, because  

"What if it caused me to miss a bus later?"

OR

"What if the time change meant I was in the wrong place?

I got so nervous I actually asked someone if the Light rail was the right light rail to the MOA.... I was born and raised here, honestly! I did know the answer, I just wanted to hear someone else say it. She probably thought I was crazy, but she sweetly informed me I was in the right place.

I got on the light rail, I got to the MOA, no problems. They were running a few minutes behind, but my notebook told me I still had 5 minutes before my next bus left, so I was ok. I then ran around the huge bus bay, and found the space where my next bus should have been.... turns out they were running behind too... by another 5 minutes. Those 5 minutes feel like forever when you are cold. Anyways. The bus came, I got on, I show her my newly purchased day pass, she scans it, and tells me it's expired. I look at her dumbly, my heart might have stopped, I was just begining to feel confident with the bus system at this point. I look at the ticket, She points to the coin machine, and I slowly begin putting in quarters while looking at my ticket. before I put the full amount in, I reshow her the ticket, pointing out the purchase date and expiration date. She shrugs her shoulders, says sorry, can't give me my quarters back, and lets me on. I sat down as quickly as I could not wanting to run into another problem. 

By the time we reach my next bus stop, It's 8:30am. My next bus comes at 8:43am. There are two huge buildings, and I have no idea where I'm supposed to stand. I begin looking for Bay B, but there are B's on both buildings. I finally ask a gentleman if he knows where I should be. He politely informs me, he actually doesn't know, he was just waiting for his co-workers to pick him up to carpool to work, but if he had to guess, he would say the other building. So I run across the road, and wait in front of the B door. When 8:44 comes and I don't see my bus, I got anxious. This bus only comes once an hour, so I could not miss it. I walk over to another group of people who just entered the building and ask them, just to verify where I should be. They tell me "You just missed it" As I look over and see a bus pulling away from the other station.

I thank them, and walk over to the other station. I pull out a map to see how far from work I am(I was 4 miles). I had an hour to get there. I can't wait for the next bus, After that bus dropped me off I would still have a 20 minute walk, so I decided I was going to put my hood on, tighten my jacket around me, and hike the rest of the way. 

The gentleman who I had asked for help from earlier, gives me a confused look, as I pass him headed toward the doors. He of course thought I was waiting for a bus. I let him know, that I had been on the wrong side, had missed it, and had to be at work on time. He inquired as to how far it was. I told him about 4 miles. He gave me this wide eyes look of shock, as he looked outside, and mentioned how cold it was. But I was determined to be ON TIME!! I told him, "I'm young, and as long as I keep moving, it'll keep my blood flowing, and I should stay warm." I said a quick prayer for warmth, and off I went.

I got about 5 blocks before I heard a horn behind me. It was the gentleman, and his 2 co-workers, an older gentleman and a younger gal. I walked toward the car window, and he tells me. "We're not having a pregnant lady walk 4 miles to work in the cold, and the old man agrees. Hop in and we will drop you off where ever you need to go." I didn't argue. They called their boss to let them know they would be a few minutes late because "they were dropping a pregnant lady off so she didn't have to walk" and off we went. I got to work an hour early thanks to them. And was told if I missed my bus, again, the next time, They would drive me. I thanked them, and walked into work. They were surprised to see me so early, but I explained what happened and they just laughed. It was an adventure to say the least.

No the transit system is not all that scary, but cut me some slack, I'm hormonal, and it was my first time giving it a shot. I still prefer my car, but I will definitely feel more comfortable in the future, like on my way home tonight :P 

Home Stretch

As the holidays end, and I enter the 8th month of this pregnancy, I feel like I have been running a long, hard race, and I find myself overly excited to be nearing the end. Not just in my pregnancy, either. As many people know, when we began this journey, we found ourselves financially, in over our heads, due to the miscarriage we had in April '13, and lack of insurance to help pay for those expenses. With the unexpected loss brought a debt of just over $10,000. As newly weds we had no idea how things were going to work themselves out. We found ourselves on our knees, in tears(Partially due to my hormones, and partially due to stress), in prayer more often then not. But through it all God had us in such a good place. We were blessed by friends, and family who rallied around us, to support us during this season, beyond what we could have ever imagined.

With that being said, as I think of the words 'home stretch' and how they relate to my current whale-like situation, I'm not JUST excited to be nearing the end of this pregnancy, and holding a baby boy(though I am pretty excited for that as well). This Home Stretch marks the ending of unwanted bills, and debts. March 1st, 2014, isn't just the day our boy is due, it's the day we make our FINAL payment to unplanned medical expenses. It will be the last day we have to see a medical bill that is from a day we lost a baby, As well it will be the first day,hopefully(though I might not mind him coming early), we hold the blessing that is our current baby.

Yes there will still be expenses, we will still need to pay for school, and will need a car, and of course continue having our everyday living expenses, but none of that feels overwhelming. It's not an added demand that we feel pressured by. This is truly the home stretch for us!!

Thank you, to everyone who has been behind us, holding our hand, listening, praying, and supporting us. This has been a very difficult journey for us, more often then not, but a needed one(I'll explain why later). :)

Christmas 2013

The Christmas Season has officially started!! I came home from work this evening to find a very flat large package on my door step, as I opened it up, I was beaming with excitement. It never feels right until Gramma sends out the advent calenders, although a bit late, it's better then never. We will be doubling or days until Christmas day.