Blog 14: Make a list of your strengths.

I think this blog is pretty cool. People can list there weaknesses with out much thought, but when a person is asked to list their strengths they have a fear of sounding proud, but I think it's good for people to know there strengths, as well as their weaknesses. If nothing else it's something someone needs, so they can look back on bad days, or when others are putting them down and say. "No that's not true, Christ has given me a certain ability, and my identity is not found in what the world has to say!"

Like leadership, as completely untrained as it is at times, I know I have the ability to lead.
Lead worship, I may not have the most "WOW" voice, or be able to play an instrument with some insane talent, but I know I can lead people in worship.
I'm smart, Maybe not Harvard smart, but I'm certainly smarter then many.
and the list goes on and on. I chose to physically write down a list of my strengths and put it in a place I'll see everyday. It's really helpful to look and just be reminded of what gifts Christ has given me, you know?

Blog 13: Who is your hero?

You know most people look at their parents, see their mistakes and say "I'm never going to be like that!" I look at my parents and I say "I hope I'm like them!" Mistakes and all. I know they are not perfect, but they are people I admire, look up to, and respect, completely, despite our disagreements. As I write this I’m sitting on the stage awaiting the drama team to walk in, and I look in the back through the glass and I see my dad, and I know he’s not perfect He could tell you that himself, but I am so proud to call him my dad. There are probably over 100 people waiting to get food, Tuesday nights my dad has his food distribution, and I watch him as he talks to everyone, and gives each person his complete attention. He’s probably being pulled in a thousand different directions, and probably stressed to the max, but the smile has yet to leave his face, and he does each task with such diligence. He never asks for anything in return for all his hard work, he just does it. People look up to him and respect him because he treats people with respect regardless of there current situation or past, and I admire that about him. When ever I talk to people they always tell me "You're so lucky to have such a great dad." I just smile and tell them I know. Because I truly am. I am blessed far more than one could describe. and I hope one day People will look up at me with the same respect and admiration as they do when they look at my dad. =D Love you Dad!

Blog 12: What do you want people to remember about you?

That I always cared. No matter what was going on in my life, no matter what circumstances arose, I was there for them when they really needed someone. It's something so simple to do, just being there for people, listening to them, letting them know they are important, and that someone cares, like what Jesus did, no matter there circumstances, He loved them. If I can do that for every person I come in contact with, well, that would be something worth being remembered for.

Blog 11: What is one dream you remember?

It wasn't really a dream, but more of a nightmare. It was reoccurring for 2-3 years, I had it every night, It was so vivid, I began to get really weird sleeping habits, and stay up all night, and then crash the next night, so I wouldn't be able to remember dreaming.

I would be sitting in the living room, working on school work. Kyle would be playing in the kitchen beside me, having a good time, laughing and giggling at something. He then suddenly stopped, stood up, and looked down the hallway before dashing off. I didn't think much of it until a few minutes later when I heard a blood curdling scream. I got up and ran down the hall, as the scream echoes off the walls, open the door leading to the basement, and ran down. Once I get downstairs, the basement turned to a long hallway with a single white light, I walk towards it, as I get closer I notice blood splatters all over the wall, and then I look beyond the white light, and see Kyle laying face down, a pool of blood surrounding him. I begin to run towards him, trip, and just as I'm about to hit the ground I jolt awake....

I hated those dreams... I love my brother, and the idea of him being injured was terrifying.

Blog 10: Is crying a sign of weakness or strength?

I always looked at it as a weakness.

1.) A power play people used to get sympathy from another person. Especially as a girl, I watched as so many people would cry and get attention from it, and I always thought it was stupid, the manipulation that was involved.

2.) Vulnerability. I've always hated being vulnerable, and When I cried people could see my thoughts, and how their words affected me, and I refused to let anyone have that much power, so I never would cry in front of other people. I considered my ability to be strong, and not cry as a strength after a while. I wouldn't let people in on that emotional level.

Recently I have to say I have been learning that not all crying is wrong. I'm not saying I'm going out and bawling my eyes out every second now, but I don't get as angry at myself, or castigate myself when a tear rolls down my cheek, genuinely.

Blog 9: One memory you wish you could forget?

I never wanted to forget anything... until recently. Never looked back on life and regretted, or wished I hadn't gone through X, Y and Z... until now. I don't think its so much I wish to forget, as I wish I hadn't been so stupid.

I recently, decided I was tired of being the "goody-two-shoes" amongst my friends, got into a relationship with a young man, despite my parents telling me not to, and needless to say it spun out of control. I made choices, to ignore what my parents warned against, and it's ripped a lot of trust as everything came to the surface.

I got so caught up in what the world thought of me, that I forgot that the only opinion that matters is Christ's. He is where I should find my identity. I have been entrusted with so much leadership, responsibility, and opportunities through the years. I have been looked up to as a hero, among many, and to disappoint all those people, to know that I went against my parents, and by doing so ignored Gods calling on my life, even for a moment, is a regret. It's something I wish had never happened.