It's too much...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
This week feels like it should have been so much longer than it was. 

So many emotions, 

ups, 

downs, 

things I didn't expect to happen.

Last week, as I was sobbing in my husbands arms I yelled, to no one really, that I was done, I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of everything we have going on, I'm tired of being told amongst the chaos that its not good enough, or feeling like none of it is good enough. I'm tired of waking up each morning so depressed that I'm sick to my stomach. I'm tired of constantly adding another bill to the pile, wondering how this next one is going to be paid off. I'm tired of trying to avoid the sun because I don't want to face another day.

I'm tired

I'm TIRED

I'M tired

I'M TIRED!!!!

My sweet, sweet, husband, who is just as tired as me, just let me cry for a while. He held me, with out saying much and just let me release all this and more. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he opened up the Psalms, and read them over me. 

I'm gonna be honest, most days I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I'm so thankful to have such supportive and loving family, on both sides of me. But frankly, as you can see, I'm overwhelmed.

 I took a stress test for psychology, and I was off the charts.

• I'm 20 years old, and pregnant, I was just trying to adjust to being married.
• There are some days I'm still mourning the loss of our first baby, and each bill is a reminder of that loss, which only hurts more.
• I've switched jobs multiple times.
• I'm in a moving transition, and getting ready to move again next month.
• I'm in school full time.
• My days off aren't even days off because there are so many little projects that need to get done.
• Our cars have needed quite a bit of money put into them, for basic things, tires, oil, GAS, every trip in them is a prayer they keep running. 
• I received a letter from the insurance, informing us that we applied for the wrong thing, so we have to begin the application process all over again.
• I volunteer way too many hours, but it's one of the few things I still love.
• I co-lead several church programs.
• And to top it off, my husband has taken a job in North Dakota with his dad that will take him away from me for two weeks every month, because he is feeling the pressure just as much as I am.

 I know this may sound like I'm just complaining, but I'm just laying out. I mean,

God has been so faithful to provide just what we need, when we need it. I've been overwhelmed on both ends.

•  Last week we found out some of our bills rolled over to collections, and we had to pay on them. The next day we received a $200 check in the mail from a friend who didn't know anything about the bill, but she just felt like helping us out. 
• My parents have provided housing and food.
• Gabe's parents have provided a good paying job for him.
• God has kept our cars running. 
• We are both able to work, and have been able to keep our jobs.
•  My school load has somehow gotten completed each week. 
• We have been so blessed. 

 
But it's still overwhelming.
Lord only knows I can't do it on my own.
 I NEED prayer. WE need prayer.
I know I'm not the only one who is dealing with difficulties right now. Which is why I chose to write today. I would love to talk with other people who are in the midst of similar things, I want to pray for you guys as you pray for us, and hopefully support you as we all work through these seasons of trials.
I think sometimes we just need to know we are not alone!

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28