Blog 4: Biggest Struggle Growing Up

I think it's been my emotions, and not letting them get the best of me. This whole generation is all about emotions and feeling. We have everything thing we could ever want, but thats not good enough for a lot of people, and so we go out looking for a problem, and find it in our emotional dissatisfaction. For me personally, that's a struggle every day. Letting my emotions tell me to block people out, and keep everything to yourself, then blame others because they never tried to get to know you, and turn it on them, like it's there fault.

Have you ever been totally happy, but wanted to be sad, just so you could feel something different, like an emotional drug, you listen to something sad and can feel the internally struggle between happy and sad like a roller coaster, you want to be happy, but all these feelings that are brought up by the sadness are so hard to put away. It's a rush.

"... But dear mom, I'm getting better at writing happier things

I know you'll never understand it

but I'm attached to the sadness and it rings...."

-When I Go To Meet God, Levi the Poet-

It's not healthy, but that is my biggest struggle. Living life and choosing to be content. My dad once said.(I prob have the quote wrong, but something a long these lines)

"You won't always feel like loving people, but if you CHOOSE to love people and CHOOSE to overcome your own personal feeling and love people anyways, the personal feelings will eventually align themselves"

And that's what I focus on each and every day, it's not easy, being sad can be such an easy place to fall back into, but I don't want to be stuck there, trapped in brokenness. I don't want to live each day for myself with no purpose in life, but rather I want to live where Christ intended me to be, safe and secure in His arms, living each day as though its my last, and celebrating each moment I'm given.